Dear Dave,
What’s your advice on asking for a raise in a delicate workplace situation? I’ve been with my company almost six years, and I make the same money as one of my co-workers, who has been with the company for an equal amount of time and holds the same title. I have no problem, all things being equal, but in my mind they’re not equal. During our tenure with the company, I have consistently taken on more responsibility—asked for it, even—and produced bigger and better results than he has. All things considered, at this point I feel I have the right to complain about the situation, because I think I should be making more money than he does.
Jacob Dear Jacob,
Believe me, I understand how you feel right now. But no, you don’t have the right to complain. You agreed on your pay when you took the job, and you should perform your duties with integrity and character. What someone else does, or in this case doesn’t do, has nothing to do with your title or personal compensation.
Now, if you honestly feel like you deserve a raise because of your effort and performance on the job, that’s fine. It’s sounds like it may even be understandable, given the situation. So, if that’s the case, sit down with your leader and make a logical, objective and reasonable argument for why you deserve more money. I wouldn’t mention your co-worker, and especially don’t bad-mouth him, because it’s not relevant. Taking that approach could also make it come off as just a case of sour grapes to your boss. As a leader, I can tell you that’s not an attractive look on anyone. What’s relevant here is the value you bring to the company. Period.
Do you hear what I’m saying, Jacob? If you think you deserve a raise, and you’ve got the results to prove it, sit down and have a respectful conversation with your leader.Makeyourcase.Show him or her the numbers in black and white, the value you bring to the company and explain why you feel you should get more money. I really think you’ll have a better chance of getting your work recognized and rewarded if you’ll approach things this way.
Good luck!
— Dave Dear Dave,
My wife and I are on Baby Step 7, and we have a household income of $127,000 a year. We have an older dog who has had some very expensive vet bills recently. It has us both wondering how far, financially speaking, we should be willing to go to keep him alive. We both really love our dog, so we would appreciate yourthoughtsintheevent wehavetomakeareallyhard decision somewhere down the road.
Jeff Dear Jeff,
Wow … You’re really trying to get me into trouble, aren’t you? First of all, let me say this: I. Love. Dogs. I really do. I’ve had several during my life, and right now, I have one I like more than most people I know.
That being said, this little animal that I love like crazy is still … a dog. It’s not one of my grandchildren, and it’s not one of my kids. If you were to ask me how much money I’d spend to keep one of my kids or grandkids alive, the answer is simple — all the money I’ve got. Everything. I’ve started over from nothing before, and I could do it again. But there’s your answer.
Now, here’s something that’s going to be hard for a few folks to hear. With some peoplewholovetheiranimals as much as I do, what I’ve observed is that the whole relationship can become more about the human than the animal. I’ve seen people spend tens of thousands of dollars to keep their pets alive, even though the animals were still suffering. At that point, it’s not fair to the animal. And unfortunately, that’s what often ends up happening with this kind of situation.
Listen, I understand this. I’m not bad-mouthing anyone, because I’ve experienced these kinds of feelings, too. I’ve had to have animals put to sleep, and I’ll be 100% honest with you: I’ve sat there and cried — I mean flat-out sobbed — while it happened. And in my mind, that’s a better path to take sometimes, rather than selfishly letting the animal spend its last weeks or months in pain just because you don’t want to go through something difficult.
Now, if you can fix the animal — if you can give it a more-or-less normal, painfree life by spending some money and actually correcting the problem — then, sure. Doit.There’snoruleofthumb or percentage on something like this. If you actually have the money, let’s get them fixed up. But if it takes going deep into debt, wrecking your finances or leaving your family scrambling to make ends meet as a result — then, no. I’m sorry. You should honor and love that wonderful little animal well enough that you don’t make them suffer for you.
I hope you understand this, Jeff, and that it makes sense to you. God bless you all, and God bless that old pup. I hope you’ll have many more happy days together.
— Dave Dear Dave,
I’ve been talking to my creditors, because I want to pay off my debt as soon as possible. In dealing with them, I’ve noticed sometimes they are reasonable and understanding, while other times they are pushy and even mean. Do you have any suggestions on dealing with creditors when you’re trying to make amends and correct financial mistakes of the past?
Olivia Dear Olivia,
Let’s start with a few basics. When it comes to dealing with debt collectors, keep track of all calls and emails between you, and be 100% up to speed on all your accounts. Have records of all the payments you’ve made, and the dates on which they were made. Know what you owe,whoyouoweandexactly how much you owe them.
If a collector agrees to settle the debt, get all the specifics of that agreement in writing, and keep the document as proof—just in case they “forget” they made the offer. Knowing the facts, and having them close by, gives you the upper hand in any situation. Plus, all this will make it easier to report them, and begin building a case file, if they violate the federal Fair Debt Collection Practices Act.
Trust me, you’ll run into all sorts of collectors no matter what kind of debt you have. Occasionally, they’re friendly and reasonable. Others can be downright nasty. Whatever their approach, always remember one thing. Their endgame is to separate you from your money. Most debt collectors try to take advantage of a person’s lack of confidence and emotions. So, if you don’t know your rights, they can scare you by using bogus threats. Always calmly explain your situation, the reason you’re behind on the debt and how you plan to pay it off. Never let yourself get drawn into an argument, either. If they start yelling, calling you names or cursing at you, hang up immediately. Make a note of the call, and the name of the person you spoke with.
Any misbehavior aside, I want you to remember one thing. If you have debt, you have a legal and moral obligation to pay it. However, there’s nothing wrong with you calmly and confidently controlling these kinds of conversations. You may have made some financial mistakes in the past, Olivia. But that doesn’t mean you should allow someone to insult and abuse you.
— Dave Dear Dave,
My fiancé and I are getting married this year. We’re both in our 40s with kids, so we’ll be a blended family. The thing that worries me is that we have drastically different viewsonhandlingmoney.I’m a saver, and he’s a spender. I also make significantly more money than he does. He’s been trying to get his production company in Tampa off thegroundforabout10years, making $50,000 a year. I’m an accountant, and I make $300,000 a year. Considering the uniqueness of the situation, would it be easier for us to keep separate financial lives? I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be hard talking him into being more responsible with money at his age.
Lisa Dear Lisa,
You’re going to burn a lot of calories either way, aren’t you? Either you folks are going to do the hard work of getting on the same page together, or you’re going to essentially work against each other and underperform. In your lives and your finances.
All the data we’ve collected shows that the couple who win with money are the couples who work together. Nearly 80% of the 10,000+ millionaires we interviewed in “The National Study of Millionaires” were married. On top of that, 80% of them
Dave Ramsey is a seventime #1 national best-selling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Dave Ramsey Show, heard by more than 16 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, buildwealthandenhancetheir lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.
said they were able to build that kind of wealth because they were working together financially with their spouse, instead of despite their spouse.
As far as your fiancé and his business are concerned, it doesn’t take 10 years to get a business off the ground. If you know your stuff, it takes about 10 months. So, he doesn’t really have a small business. He has a hobby. Don’t get me wrong. I admire the dude’s commitment and ambitious spirit. It may just be a case of him being good at what he does but not being good at running a business. Accidental entrepreneurs happen a lot, and that’s not a sin. He may just need to educate himself on the how of running a business successfully.
Along those lines, I’d recommend that he pick up a copy of “The E-Myth” by MichaelE.Gerber.It’sagreat read for anyone looking to evaluate their small business and get it moving in the right direction. But if that’s not the answer, he needs to find a different career. My guess is he could double what he’s making now working for someone else in the production world in a place like Tampa.
Looking at you two on the surface, you’ve got a chance to build a beautiful life together. That’s not going to happen, though, if one or both of you are in denial about a job or your finances. The awkwardness of you making literally six times what he makes — and his business situation — needs to be discussed with a good pre-marital counselor before you two walk down the aisle.
God bless you two, Lisa!
— Dave