Dear Dave,
My wife and I have been marriedfortwoyears,andwe both have good jobs. Together, we bring home around $190,000 combined. We also have $100,000 in a savings account, and no debt except for our mortgage. A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted about an opportunity to take a job in commercial real estate in my hometown. To be honest, this kind of work has been a dream of mine for several years. The problem is my wife is upset by the idea of moving. She says it’s because she doesn’t want to be even furtherawayfromherfamily, but it seems like something else is bothering her. Do you have any advice?
Freddie Dear Freddie,
Anytime you’re in a relationship and something like this happens, it’s a little like making a sale in that you’ve got to dig out the real reason for the objection. It could very well be that she doesn’t want to be further away from her family, and that’s natural—to an extent. But like you said, there could be other factors involved.
There might be something in your past that bothers her, or something she doesn’t want you to revisit. There may even be feelings of discomfort with your family for things that have happened or been said. It could also be the insecurity that goes along with a move, a new home and a new job. I don’t know how far away you’re talking about moving, but it could also be she’s worried about leaving her job.
Fromarelationshipstandpoint, you two each need to lay your cards on the table and be honest with each other. Open up, and really talk about it. Otherwise, it’s going to become a sore spot and cause even more problems. Part of marriage is making compromises. Sometimes compromises must be made by one, or both, people in order to do what’s best for the relationship in the present and in the long run.
It could be that you just need an impartial referee. Would you both be willing to attend a few sessions with a good pastor or marriage counselor together? Talking to either one doesn’t mean your marriage is on the rocks, but sometimes a compassionate and objective third party can help dig down below the surface to uncover issues and help find a reasonable solution to problems.
I hope this helps. God bless you both, Freddie.
— Dave Dear Dave,
HowdoIgetmyemployees to buy-in to the company mission, and really get onboard with what I want to accomplish and the steps toward making it happen? I feel like I have a lot of good people working for me, but I’m not sure I’m getting the message across in terms what I expect and what it will take for them and the business to succeed.
Franklin Franklin,
It’s a no-brainer that employee buy-in is great, even essential, for your business. But actually getting buy-in? That can be tough. Here are four steps I believe are essential to setting the stage for winning employees over and gaining their trust, their loyalty and their respect.
First, evaluate your leadership. Ask yourself, Would I follow the leader I am today? Great leaders are open to feedback, humble and willing to grow. They lead by serving. And most teams will follow a good example, so lead with confidence, focus and transparency.
Next, define your mission, vision and values. Your mission describes what you do and why it matters. Your vision paints a picture of what the future will look like when your mission is lived out, and your values declare what your company stands for and guide how you make decisions. Share these often, and be very clear when you do. If these principles aren’t firmly in place and understood, you’re asking your team to navigate without a map.
Also, communicate consistently and clearly. Your teammembersaren’tabunch of mind readers. Share all your expectations and goals frequently, along with the why behind your plans. Make time for questions and mentoring, too. Your ability to communicate well goes a longwaytowarddetermining team satisfaction and retention, along with the quality of your relationships and the level of trust you earn.
Finally, have a solid strategic plan. Don’t just relay a vagueoutlineyourcompany’s destination, map out a clear path of how to get there with all your leaders. A strategic plan with actionable steps shows your team what winning looks like and what it’ll take to succeed.
And when the plan is specific and achievable, your team will rally around it.
— Dave
Dave Ramsey is a seven-time #1 national best-selling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 16 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good MorningAmerica, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News,CNN,FoxBusiness,andmany more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.