ASK DAVE

Dear Dave,

My husband and I bought a franchise recently, and we are opening our business in a couple of months. We’ve got $40,000 saved up, but my husband wants us to take a two-week vacation before we open for business. He feels that the business will completely consume us for the next two or three years, and he wants to go into things relaxed and refreshed. How do you feel about this idea?

Jill Dear Jill,

I understand where your husband’s coming from. A business is very time consuming, and to make it a success you’ll both have to eat, sleep and breathe it for a very long time.

But here’s the reality of your situation. Right now, you’re basically unemployed. On top of that, you have just $40,000 with which to start a business. It’s time to rev up your engines and get to work, not spend a bunch of money vacationing. Trust me, there’ll be plenty of time to celebrate after you’ve won, maybe in even bigger and better ways, if you’ll just delay gratification and put in the dedication and hard work now.

When it comes to opening a new business, a good rule of thumb is this: Everything’s going to take twice as long to accomplish as you thought it would, and everything’s going to be twice as expensive as you thought it’d be. I’m sure you’re both smart people, but my guess is you’re not exceptions to this rule when it comes to opening and running a small business.

Think about it, every single dollar connected with your business could mean the difference between survival and going under. Like I said, I kind of get your husband’s thought process, but it would be a very unwise idea right now. You’ve got to look at the big picture. You’re going to be heartbroken, and maybe in a real financial bind, if you have to close up shop in a few months because you ran out of money.

On the other hand, if you work hard now, stay smart and make this thing a success, you can take a vacation—and really celebrate—when the time is right!

—Dave Dear Dave,

My best friend is having financial problems, and I’m worried about him. He’s “betweenjobs”nowandmaking lessthan$600amonththrough a part-time job. He says he’s holding out for his dream job, which is about ten hours away, butevenwhenhe’sworkingfull time, he always asks to borrow moneyorsayshe’srunninglow. He interviewed for his dream job several months ago, and I haven’t got the heart to tell him hewasprobablypassedoverfor the position. Is there anything I can do to help him?

Garrett Dear Garett,

I assume that since you’re good friends, he’s willing to listen to what you have to say. There’s absolutely nothing wrongwithhavingadreamjob. You just have to be practical and realistic at the same time.

This next part is more observation than insult, so I hope you’ll understand. Your friend sounds to me like he might be a little impulsive and unrealistic. When it comes right down to it, maybe a touch immature, too. So, I think what we’re talking about here is how to give your friend a gentle, well-intentioned nudge in a more realistic direction. He needs to open his eyes to some positive financial realities of life—like living on a written, monthly budget—and not making a habit of chasing rainbows and making excuses.

If he came to me for advice, the first thing I’d tell him is that themostemployablepeopleare ones who aren’t broke. When you go into a job interview and you’re broke, it’s easy to come offasdesperateandtense.That doesn’t make for a very good interview.

The answer to that, when you’re essentially unemployed, is to work any legitimate fulltime job. At the very least, two, three or even four part-time jobs. Deliver pizzas, wait tables and mow yards. It’s doesn’t matter what you’re doing, as long as you’re generating a livable income for yourself. Smile and be professional at whatever you’re doing, too. You never know when you might come face-to-face with your next real employer. But none of this will happen if you’re working three or four hours a day, and spending most of your time at home in front of the television.

I hope this helps. I hope your friend will listen to you and understand you have his best interests at heart. But if he doesn’t, all you can do is hope for the best and pray for him.

Best of luck, Garrett. You’re a good friend.

—Dave Dear Dave,

My mom and dad always told me to live within my means. As an adult, I’ve made some mistakes with money, including falling right back into debt after paying off everything. I’m tired of this rollercoaster, and I want to get control of my finances for good. Can you give me some advice on where to start?

Melissa Dear Melissa,

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? But making mistakes with money means just one thing. It means you’rehuman.We’vealldoneit. Thinkaboutthis,though.We’re approaching a traditional time of the year for changes. On top of that, you’re smart enough to have realized what you’ve done in the past hasn’t worked.

Believe it or not, I was once in the exact same spot you are now. When it happened to me, there were three pieces to the puzzle that helped me break the cycle. One was fear. Specifically, I was scared to death that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my family, and that I’d retire broke. Now, don’t misunderstand me. No one should live their lives in fear. But a healthy, reasonable level of fear can provide needed motivation.

Another was disgust. I realized what I was doing was stupid. I was tired of living that way, and I made a conscious, purposeful decision that things were going to be different.

The third piece, and maybe the most important because it’s connected to our spiritual walk, was contentment. We live in a society that’s constantly having the idea that we’ll be happier, or more successful, or more admired, if we’ll only buy this or that product. We’re constantly marketedto,andwhenwehave this stuff in our faces day after day, we can become unsatisfied with just about every aspect of our lives. Don’t let it drag you down. It’s all just an illusion.

One of the things I did to combat this, was to start living on a strict, written, monthly budget. Also, I stopped going places where I was tempted to spend money. You shouldn’t give a drunk a drink, right? So, don’t put yourself in a bad situation when it comes to your behavior with money. If you go wandering through the mall without a specific plan, you’ll lose every single time.

When you go to the store make a list of only the things you need. On top of that, take only enough cash with you to buy what you need. If you can walk in and back out without buying a bunch of stuff that wasn’t on your list, it’s a win. Every time you do this, it’s another win and another step away from your old habits and in the right direction.

You can do this, Melissa. God bless you.

—Dave