Dave Ramsey is a seven-time #1 national best-selling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 16 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good MorningAmerica, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News,CNN,FoxBusiness,andmany more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.
Dear Dave,
My parents are both in their seventies. They have been healthy and active all their lives, but in spite of them both having good jobs they neglected to plan and save for retirement. Is it my responsibility now to provide them with financial help in their old age?
Reagan
Dear Reagan, It sounds like you might be a little irritated that your parents haven’t been responsible with their money. The way you described the circumstances, it’s understandable— to a point. But in my mind, there’s a bigger question when it comes to helping your folks. How big is the burden?
Let me ask you a few things. Do you have the money to help? Now, can you provide this help without your own family suffering or going without? If both answers are yes, I think your question may be a little more about your own aggravation with your folks than any ethical or moral obligation.
A few years ago I spoke with a guy who was in really good shape financially. He made over $1 million a year, and he had plenty set aside in savings and retirement accounts. His father was in poor health and had never handled his money wisely. The son asked me if he should help out his dad by giving him some money every month.
In my mind, there’s no question the right answer was yes. And that’s what I told him. If you’re making millions, but don’t want to help out your sick dad, there’s something wrong with you. There’s something missing inside you that money just won’t fix. However, if you and your family are barely getting by—let’s say you bring home $3,000 a month—you’re not morally required to help a parent who was irresponsible with money their entire life. I’m not sure what your situation is, Reagan, but I hope you’ll look at things with a little grace and reason. It’s a tough situation to be in, because it sounds like your heart is being pulled in different directions. My advice, above all else, is to pray about it. And, if you have a spouse, talk to them about everything, and make sure the two of you are in agreement on what should be done before moving forward.
God bless you, friend.
— Dave Dear David
My wife and I are in our late-twenties, and we have a full emergency fund saved up.Ouronlydebtisourhome. We have talked about having a child sometime next year, but I am on the road three weeks a month for my job. I don’t want to be gone so much once we have a child, and I am thinking about opening my own business, so I can eliminate the travel and control my hours better. Do you have any thoughts on this situation?
Mike
Dear Mike, An entrepreneur is the person I know who can go from sheer terror to sheer exhilaration and back every few hours. You’ve got to have a strong mind and a strong heart to be successful, plus there’s a good chance your idea won’t last long if you don’t love what you’re doing. Remember, too, you’re basically on straight commission asanentrepreneur,andthere probably wouldn’t be a regular paycheck you could count on for a while.
Okay, that was a quick dose of reality. Now, if time and money weren’t considerations, whatwouldyourather do—stay at your current job or run your own business?
My advice to anyone, entrepreneur or not, is to make sure your work falls in line with the passions, skills and talents you were born with. You don’t need to work in the construction business if you don’t like being outdoors and working with your hands, just like you don’t want to be stuck in a call center if you hatetalkingonthephoneand beingcoopedupinsideallday. Everyone wants to be successful in their job, enjoy what they do and make lots of money. But personal happiness is just as important. If you wake up excited about what you’re facing every day, chances are you’ll be successful and happy. If you wake up dreading the day and your job, I can almost guarantee you won’t be successful or happy.
You’ve got a lot more thinking and research to do, Mike. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to change jobs or be an entrepreneur. Being able to spend more time with your family is a noble and worthwhile thing, too. But I’m not hearing a lot of direction in what you’re saying rightnow.Maybeworkwitha career coach, and spend some time tossing ideas around with your wife. I know you both want great things for your child, but you’re not going to make the best possible decisions for yourself—and your family—without a lot more planning and thoughtful discussion.
— D a v e