Dear Dave,
My husband recently approached me with an idea for our money. He wants us to set up an account where we both put 10 percent of our income for discretionary spending. My husband makes more money than I do, and because of this, he says it is fair that he would be able to spend more than I would. How do you feel about this?
Liz
Dear Liz,
I’m sure deep down he’s a decent guy and he loves you very much. But he’s looking at this all wrong. Right now, he’s being pretty immature and selfish about the whole situation. It’s a bad plan.
Let’s look at this from another angle. There are lots of families where only one person works outside the home and generates an income. Would it be fair, then, to say only the person making money is allowed a little cash to spend for fun once in a while? Of course, not.
When two people are married, they are pronounced “as one.” That means even if you only have one person with an income, it becomes our income. If you have kids, they become our kids. See where I’m going with this? Marriage is not a me thing, it’s a we thing. Always.
— Dave
Dear Dave,
I own a duplex that has an opening for a tenant, and an old college buddy wants to rent the apartment. He has always been a good friend, but I’m a little worried about the possible effects on our friendship if business is brought into the picture. Do you have any advice?
Justin
Dear Justin,
You can make this work, but you’ll both need to be careful. It’s going to take a lot of honesty and maturity from you both. Doing business with
Doing business with friends always comes with the risk of running into a situation that can damage the relationship. Am I saying never do business with friends? Of course, not. I do a lot of business with friends. I just make sure all the specific requirements and expectations of the business relationship are laid out in clear detail, in writing, and fully understood by both parties before a deal is struck.
Sometimes friends have unrealistic expectations when it comes to doing business together. The friend who’s renting may think the friend who is the landlord will give him a pass if the rent is late, and on a dozen other things. The friend who is the landlord may think the renter will be a perfect tenant, because they’re friends, and find out the hard way his buddy’s a slob who doesn’t respect and take care of the property. All these things should be ironed out ahead of time and before the agreement is signed.
You might want to make sure, too, he understands the need to come talk to you if a situation arises where he may be late with a payment, or not be able to pay the rent one month. Most issues like this can be worked out, but he needs to understand — and it’s your job to tell him ahead of time, in a kind-but-firm manner — you’re not running a charity.
Just be friendly, straightforward and businesslike. If you have to enforce the rules, do it consistently and with fairness. Likewise, if a situation pops up where a little grace and understanding are appropriate, provide those as well.
— Dave
Dave Ramsey is a seven-time #1 national best-selling author, personal fi nance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 16 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.