A Mile In Someone Else’s Shoes

Emily Barnes is a criminal justice reform advocate and founder of Ignite Justice, a nonprofit group that works to improve prison and jail conditions in Oklahoma. Her 20-year-old son Kody is serving a 25-year sentence for armed robbery at the Davis Correctional Facility in Holdenville.

In a new Oklahoma Watch feature “A Mile In Another’s Shoes,” an initiative to give voice to the voiceless or call attention to the plight of those affected by public policy, Barnes describes fighting for prison reform and what it’s like to have a family member incarcerated. Her comments were edited for length and clarity:

I’m originally from Philadelphia, born and raised. I moved here about 15 years ago and have been here ever since. I was a single mom with two kids and picked a state that was cheap for me to live in where I could survive and raise kids and not struggle.

My first job here was in telemarketing and then I worked at Walmart. Then I actually worked for the Department of Rehabilitation Services where we helped inmates find jobs. I realized when I was working with them how hard it is for a felon to get a job. Every 20 applications they send, they might get one interview. To me, people deserve a second chance, and that’s what made me want to get involved.

Incarceration hasn’t always been a part of my life. I met a homeless man in Oklahoma City who was released from prison, had no money, no ID, no nothing, and was living on the streets. I said “I need to do something.” It’s because of that homeless man that I decided to get involved with criminal justice reform. That was 15 years ago.

A couple of years after we moved my son started getting in trouble. The first time he got locked up, he was 12 years old. October 31 will be three years inside prison for him. He’s set to be released in 2027, but then he will be on paper for 15 years.

It’s like I buried my son but he’s still alive. That’s the only way I can describe it to people. It’s a horrible feeling. Then, every day you have to worry, is he going to get stabbed? Am I going to get a phone call telling me my son committed suicide because he can’t handle it no more? That’s my biggest fear. I fear that every day of my life. This is the worst nightmare, and I just want to wake up from it and for it to be over.

Holidays are hard. Mother’s Day is definitely hard. Not even being able to go into a park and hang out with your family, like, it’s hard. And what’s even harder is, you know, your own family judges you because your loved ones are locked up. I have my good days, and I have my days where I just cry about it.

I really started getting involved with Facebook groups about four years ago when Kody was still sitting in county jail. I was like “I’m going to start my own nonprofit, I need to make a change and fight for them.” My son doesn’t deserve to live in those types of living conditions.

Their human rights are being violated. That to me is one of the main issues. Just because someone is in jail or prison doesn’t mean that they deserve to be treated like an animal. They shouldn’t have to lay on a cot and have bed bugs crawl on them, or flush the toilet and it’s overflowing in their cell. Even the food; they shouldn’t be given green bologna. They’re sent to prison to do their sentence, not to be treated inhumanely.